Timeline of Facts - Part 2

I was in denial for days. I had very little faith that the HPT was real. I was reeling at the thought that I would be a mom. Again, I was not dissappointed. Just really confused.

After about three full days of knowing about it and not saying anything, I finally decided I needed to tell Josh. It was Monday morning, and he was getting ready for work. While shaving at the bathroom sink, I walked in and sat down on the toilet. At first I starred at him for several seconds and after a while he noticed I was starring at him. "Yeeeesss?" he said, perplexed as to why I was sitting on the toilet starring at him for, seemingly, no reason, "So..." I began, "I have something to tell you." "Ok, what?" "I....I really don't know how you are going to react. It's kind of a big thing..." Half shaven, razor in hand, really, really perplexed, he says "Ok? Just say it...." "Well, um, I.....I......you're not going to believe this..." I giggle some, not really sure how to say it, so I just blurt it out "I'm pregnant...."

We both stared at each other for a few seconds.

"OH! Whatever!" he says with a smile, "you're just saying that so you can see what my reaction would be IF you really were pregnant..." He sure thought he had it all figured out, didn't he? He continued to shave. "No, actually. Why would I lie about something like that?" "I don't know, just to be funny, I guess..." "Well, I'm not kidding. I really am." "Really? Prove it!! Do you have the pregnancy test?" "I do, I actually have two." I open the drawer where I stashed the two tests and showed him the proof. "Oh wow....." speechless "....... How cool..." He looked at me and smiled. "Cool" he said once more.

I really did not know how he would react. I knew that he would not be upset, but I couldn't predict his initial reaction. Would he do somersaults? I don't know. Would he break out in song? I don't know. Would he pound his chest like an alpha male gorilla? I don't know. I can now say though, his reaction was completely natural and very him. A subdued, happy and content acknowledgement of a completely shocking revelation. "And they said it was along shot..." were his final words before leaving for work.

It was important to me to keep this whole thing under wraps until I went to the doctor to confirm what technically was a rumor. I didn't want to announce to the world that I was expecting and then not really be, only to have them tell me "Oh no! You're not pregnant, you're in the early stages of diabetes," in a pathetic, 'you poor girl' sort of way.

SO, we said nothing. For two solid months. Part of the reasoning for that was that:

1) I did not attempt to make a doctor's appointment for another two weeks. I was still in denial. I know, I know...get with it Tiffany!

2)When I called the doctor's office to make the appointment the next available appointment was 6 weeks out! I could not believe it! That put me not seeing the doctor until mid July.

3) I had to cancel the original appointment and reschedule because of another conflicting appointment that I could not cancel, putting my appointment now at the beginning of August. *I'm exhausted*

So, in the meantime, I was:

1) experiencing the worst case of morning sickness EVER - which really translates to all-day sickness, for me between the hours of 10:30am to about 8:30pm. I learned there really isn't a "morning sickness" - how nice.

2) trying to figure out just how far along I was...in my case, this was especially difficult. When you only have a cycle twice a year good luck!

3) trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was pregnant.

4) dealing with the unbelievable experience of heightened senses. While I was picking up a gallon of milk at HEB, I smelled freshly ground coffee from across the store, as if it were on the shelf right next to the milk and orange juice.

5) trying to brace myself for girl's camp. Whomever decided that TENT CAMPING would be a good thing, must have had a bad day the day they decided it. And, to top it off, learning that the Stake Leadership would be sleeping in air condition while the rest of us would be in tents, was really, really chapping my hide. Uh, hypocritical? Slightly. No, GROSSLY.

Ironically, the week of girls camp, the nausea was probably at it's absolute WORST. The Monday before we were supposed to leave (we were supposed to go up on Wednesday morning) I was trying to pack up the last of the necessities and I found it difficult to do even the simplest of tasks. Finally, on Tuesday, I expressed to Josh that I was not sure how I was going to be able to deal with being in the heat for 3.5 days having the nausea and the exhaustion doubly. He felt that I needed to tell someone, that way they would be in the loop in the event something were to happen to me or I just could not plain stand it. So, I did. I called one of the leaders who was already up there and told her in the strictest of confidence. Luckily, since the only girls from our ward were YCLs, she gave me the option to stay at home if I needed. I appreciated that, A LOT, but by the same token, felt a little guilty. I didn't want the girls to think I had ditched them. I opted to come the last day and stay the night, then pack up and go home the next morning.

**********Part 3 to come - I guess there is more to tell than I thought***********